June 2012

I was finishing my final year of Bachelor's degree in East European Studies (that I didn't like). I had no idea what to do next. Master? Work? Travel? I felt really lost and was full of doubts. After one of the exams I had a chance to talk for 15-20 minutes with, probably, my favourite lecturer I met at uni (the subject was also really interesting – The Beatles and The Sixties). I remember this conversation well.

- So what's next Zuzanna. What are your plans?

- I really don't know. There is this new course at uni, master in criminology. I think I wanna study it.

- But do you know what to do with your life? What about work? What can you do after this course?

- I...I don't know. I wish I was this kind of person who had a dream job and do everything to get it. I wish I knew who I wanna be. I would be much happier knowing that.

- You know, I'm not so sure. Let me tell you my story. Since I remember I loved French and wanted to teach it. So I knew what I wanted to study, what exams I had to pass. And now I'm here, doing what I thought I wanted... but am I happy? Was it a good choice? I don't know. I still love what I'm doing. But maybe it would be better to study something connected with EU and international relations and work in Brussels like many of my friends? And do what I love as a hobby? I don't know. But what I want to tell you is that if I had a chance I would probably choose other way. Or at least try something else and then decide. You don't know what to do – it's ok. Try many different things. Experience as much as you can. And finally you'll find your place, ideas what you wanna do. Good luck. You'll be fine. Just don't give up and believe in yourself.

To be honest, this conversation was a big surprise to me. Yes, few students and I were sometimes staying longer to talk with him after lectures, but I didn't expect so personal speech from him. I was a bit shocked but also happy because, as I said earlier, I really liked him. What he said calmed me down. Thanks to him I realised that there's nothing wrong with me. I'm twenty something and have a lot of time to find out what to do. Who I wanna be. I can try many different things. I can change plans, ideas, directions. And I can make mistakes too. I left the room with a big smile on my face. And I try to remember his words everytime I start to panic about my future.